The Big Birthday Bash
by omgihatelifemorethanever
Summary: Yugi's throwing himself a party, so Seto and Joey have to get ready! But Seto decides to get a little naughty with Joey in the mall. Can he behave himself enough to stay within the limits of public decency? JoeySeto!


"Keep _up_, Seto. For god's sakes if we don't hurry up we're going to be late!" Joey said, exasperated, tugging Seto Kaiba along on his child leash. Which was rather too small for him since Seto was in fact not a child.

Anyway, Seto and Joey were shopping for a gift for Yugi's bachelor(ette) party.Yugi would soon be married to Yami, which was hard to explain since both Yugi and Yami existed in one body. It was a complicated relationship and the wedding planning was difficult, but they decided to dress up Yugi in a black tux jacket, bow tie, and white skirt and call it even. Neither Joey nor Seto Kaiba wanted to know how the honeymoon would go, and they weren't exactly interested in pondering over it either. Yugi was very pleased with his big lifetime decision though, so they weren't exactly going to knock his decision. He was dueling better than ever now, and Joey wanted to show his support. That's why boyfriends Joey and Seto were buying a gift for Yugi's bachelor(ette) party, even if they were a little confused about how it all worked.

Seto flailed magnificently against the leash keeping him bonded to his boyfriend but alas, he was not to be set free. "Come _on_," Joey goaded, tugging at him. "Now…should we…" he looked around, confused, in the hobby shop they had just walked into. "How about we get them some nice…"

"Him," Seto interrupted.

"What?"

"Not them, _him_."

Joey sighed. "Okay…how about we get _him_ a nice pack of Duel Monsters?"

"Are you fucking crazy?" Seto sneered, glaring.

"Okay, okay, none of that. How about…" Joey wandered into the more expensive aisle. "How about a millennium item? Let's see…" He picked up the millennium rod. "This could work…especially on the honeymoon and all…"

"I'm not spending my hard earned money on some gilded assfucking device so that Yugi can pretend his wedding isn't some fucked up pagan ceremony in celebration of how great he and his stupid ass is," Seto said simply.

"Fine!" yelped Joey, putting down the rod. "Fine! What do _you_ think we should get them? You're always naysaying! I mean…think about me for once, okay? It's hard enough that I have to deal with the fact that you have three nipples, but now this? Not even helping me through a difficult time trying to support my nutcase friend in his time of need!" Joey was distraught.

Seto was too. _He just had to bring up the nipple thing, didn't he…I already explained to him that it comes right off. Velcro's a wonderful thing…_ but his thoughts were interrupted when Joey found the perfect gift for Yugi.

"Don't you naysay this, Seto!" cried Joey, holding up the new found item triumphantly.

Seto blinked. It was a decorative trash can. Seto wasn't sure what to say. But then…he found his words. "Oh….em…..gee, JOEY! That is so _perfect!_"

And indeed it was. Yugi would enjoy putting so many different sorts of things in this lovely trash can. Garbage, things that aren't garbage but accidentally end up there anyway, more garbage, a sock, and who knows what else? The possibilities were endless. This gift was incredible.

Seto and Joey were on their way to the checkout counter when who should they run into but….uh oh…TRISTAN.

Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem, would it? No. But there was a problem, a big one. Seto and Joey had an incredible grudge against this pick-axe headed boy. See, this one time they were playing strip Duel Monsters, Tristan had lost, but …he wouldn't do it. He wouldn't take off those damn boxers. Which was really lame because, well, everyone knew he had been wearing briefs underneath his boxers anyway. And everyone from then on thought he was a huge pussy, which in this case right now, is no exception.

"_Ew_," said Joey, emphasizing his point. "It's _him_."

"Oh, I know," Seto nodded. "Make me _gag_."

Tristan cried a little inside and continued to the checkout, where he was purchasing for Yugi a nice pair of scissors in case he wanted to cut paper and/or ever needed to castrate himself.

Seto and Joey bought the trash can, making sure that they shoved Tristan to the ground as they sauntered out of the store. (Well, mostly Joey sauntered out. Seto was sort of dragged out by the leash.)

Later at the party:

Yugi was oh so pleased that all his friends had decided to join him for the party. Well, all except Tristan. Yugi sadly announced to the party that Tristan had called a bit earlier and asked not to attend the party because he didn't feel comfortable around his friends anymore and that he'd drop the present off later. Everyone but Yugi cheered. What wonderful news! They wouldn't have to deal with Tristan's ugly face while they were trying to eat. Yugi enjoyed his trash can muchly. And it's a good thing that they didn't buy the millennium rod anyway because Marik got it for the Yugi bunch. Marik was thoughtful, but rumor around the party was that Marik had already used it. Marik hasn't been invited to any other parties since.

Joey and Seto later got married when Joey realized it _was_ Velcro after all.


End file.
